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Parenting Little Kids with Big Feelings

Calming Anxiety in Motherhood

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✨What happens when I set a boundary and my child

✨What happens when I set a boundary and my child gets upset about it?” ✨

🌈It’s a child’s job to ask us for the world and our job to create safety for them and ourselves within their requests. Sometimes when we do this, they will be upset, and this is ok.

To simply summarize this post: We allow all feelings and hold the boundaries at the same time. It’s ok for our kiddos to be angry at us.

🌈We can see these moments as opportunities to model healthy coping, problem-solving, and emotion regulation with our kids. It’s essential to have these moments where we can be their calm when they are upset. Research shows that repeated exposure to a calm caregiver in moments of upset for kids will over time help them child learn to take on this calm for themselves - this is a process called co-regulation.

Here’s one example of how this may look:

🗣Mom, I want one more Daniel Tiger.

Boundary: Ah, I hear you want one more Daniel Tiger. We agreed you’d only watch one, and it’s time to turn it off.

🗣Child: Yelling and screaming

Acknowledge: Mom: I can see you’re really upset; you want more. Do you want to turn it off, or should I?

🗣Child: Yelling and screaming

Hold Boundary: Mom: I’m going to turn it off now. I see you’re upset; it’s hard to turn off your favourite show.

🗣Child: Yelling and screaming

Coping: Mom: I hear you! It’s hard. I’m going to take a few deep breaths now. Want to join?

(Can add if needed) Creative Yes: Ah, we can’t watch more Daniel, but yes, we can pull out the playdough!

➡️Here, we can see the parent stayed calm and walked her child through their wave of emotion when the boundary was set!

We don’t need to fear these emotions. They are ok!

There is no one size fits all approach, so use this within your and your child’s personality.

Responding to our child’s anger can feel tough. Remember to care for yourself in these moments as well.

Boundaries are covered in much more depth in our online course AND our free masterclass!

Watch our free class to learn how to implement boundaries in your home!

Leave a ❤️ or comment below if this is helpful!

You could be a good parent even if you didn’t co

You could be a good parent even if you didn’t come from a good parent.

This is a powerful but essential truth.

If you are parenting differently than in your past, you may feel:

✅Memories come up from your past that you forgot about.
✅New feelings of anger or even compassion for your parents.
✅Confusion of how they could have treated you in the way that they did.
✅Excitement for doing something new with your family.
✅Unsure of where to even start.

You may put extra pressure on yourself if you are coming out of an abusive or toxic home. It’s important to remember that you don’t need to be a perfect parent to be a good parent.

✨We see you showing up for your kids in the little ways. The way you hold them as they cry. The way you try a deep breath instead of yelling. The way you take the time out of your day to learn a new way to support them.✨😭

👍🏻You are doing good.

If you are parenting differently then in your past, it may also help to:

✅Reflect on your triggers.
✅Remind yourself you are doing a good job.
✅Give yourself the compassion you needed as a child.
✅Remind yourself it is ok to make a mistake.
✅Remember: “I am not my parents.”
Keep the promises I make to myself.

Put a ❤️ below if you are a cycle breaker, and then give yourself a big hug! So proud of you!!

- Jess

PS - For more on triggers, check out our FREE masterclass where you will learn more about how your past impacts your present. Link in bio.

When I hear yelling and loud noises, my highly sen

When I hear yelling and loud noises, my highly sensitive nature wants to shut it down right away. I sometimes feel the blood rush, and without realizing it, I can match their tone… it typically leads to more chaos and neither of us feeling good.

When your children are yelling at you, how do you typically respond?

🦁 Are you like the lion - quick to roar back to their yells?

🐭 Are you like the mouse - quick to scurry away to avoid the conflict?

🦉 Or are you like the wise owl - using your confident guidance to walk them through their dysregulation.

What helps me is remembering that in these moments, my children need my guidance.

✨Their yelling is saying, “I need you,” and with a strong voice and compassion, I can guide them.✨

❌Why would you say that! I know you love me!!!
✅I hear you are really disappointed by what I’m saying.

❌I’m not a mean mom! You know that.
✅You are feeling pretty angry I said no to icecream. I hear you.

❌Ahhhh quiet down!!! That’s way too loud.
✅It’s hard to understand you when you talk so loud, can you try again in a softer voice?

❌You don’t hate me!!! Come on.
✅It’s tough to listen right now. You wish you didn’t have to turn off the tv. I hear your anger.

❌Simmer down! It’s not a big deal.
✅This feels tough for you and I can’t let you yell at me. It’s ok to be angry, it’s not ok to hurt me with your words.

🦉A strong voice comes from a place of care and regulation.

🦉It tells our child we are serious without yelling.

🦉The words and tone don’t damage the relationship.

🦉With compassion, we can remember that when our kids are yelling at us, they are communicating their need for our leadership.

Remember:

👉🏼Yelling is a sign your child needs your leadership.

👉🏼Take a breath before responding.

👉🏼Instead of connecting with their words, connect with their feeling.

👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼Swipe through the slides for tangible examples of what a strong voice sounds like!

Put a ❤️ below for more boundary related content!