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Parenting Little Kids with Big Feelings

Calming Anxiety in Motherhood

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It was 9:45 and at 9:00 it would be two hours sinc

It was 9:45 and at 9:00 it would be two hours since she woke up from her nighttime sleep.⠀
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This means it’s been time for a nap for 45 minutes. ⠀
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Except for the baby didn’t want to nap, instead she was crying in my arms.⠀
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The feeling of anger started to wash over me. I noticed a reaction in my body that was surprising and not typical. ⠀
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In the other room I could hear the older preschooler needing me.⠀
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I remembered this post I had planned for today, and took a breath and said to myself “I’m feeling angry, and that’s ok. Most moms would feel frustrated at this.”⠀
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I then took another breath and asked myself:⠀
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Why am I feeling this anger? ⠀
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☀️Am I tired? Yes.⠀
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☀️What does this behaviour remind me of? My oldest daughter who didn’t sleep well for the first two years of her life.⠀
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☀️What do I fear? The same thing happening again.⠀
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What do I need to know? ⠀
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🌈This is a different baby.⠀
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🌈Babies sometimes don’t go to sleep well for their naps, this is normal. ⠀
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🌈Perhaps she’s going through a leap or a growth spurt and that’s why she’s having a hard time.⠀
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🌈Her sleep doesn’t define my worth.⠀
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🌈If it’s not working to get her to sleep, we can take a break from it and try it again later.⠀
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🌈I need to take care of myself too, I’m not at my best when I’m running on little to no sleep, have I tuned in with my NESTS lately? (Nutrition, exercise, sleep, time for self, support). ⠀
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When we are triggered by our children’s behaviour it’s not because our kids are bad or manipulative. They’ve bumped up against a fear or need that we have.⠀
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Tuning in with why we are getting upset can help us see what we need when we are in those tough moments of parenting. ⠀
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I hope this example is helpful, and you can see how you can use the same steps to help ground you in the moments where you feel triggered. ❤️⠀
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Does this resonate? Please leave a ❤️ below if it does!

Gentle reminder our course is on sale until end of day tomorrow! Save 20% with code THANKFUL20!

Put a ❤️ below for more sibling content! It i

Put a ❤️ below for more sibling content!

It is ok for your oldest to be upset about a new baby.

Though introducing a new baby into your family is a time of excitement it can also bring up many feelings:

👧🏼Maintain expectations ⠀⠀⠀
There will be challenges in this transition. It may involve testing limits, emotional meltdowns, or more. Knowing this, we are able to set up realistic expectations and prepare as best we can so when these challenges come we can remain our toddlers calm in their storm. When we have proper expectations we also set our selves up for success instead of disappointment.⠀⠀⠀
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🗣Maintain communication ⠀⠀⠀
In these graphics I share some words that may be helpful to express to your kiddos. Use these as a guide and find what fits within your personality to say to them!⠀⠀
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😭😁Allow your own feelings!
This is a big change for the whole family! Along with the excitement of a new baby, you may feel sad that your relationship with your older kid will change, and that's ok! Release yourself from guilt that comes up. You are going to be great! ⠀⠀⠀
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😁😭Allow for their feelings ⠀⠀⠀
Make sure your child knows it's normal for them to have big emotions, and that other kids feel this way too! The second slide here is to help you see their perspective NOT to make you feel guilty! Having a sibling can be an amazing thing for your littles it just takes some time to adjust! ⠀
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🗣Teach words for feelings ⠀⠀⠀
Teach older toddlers words like jealous, excited, and frustrated before the baby comes! This gives them the vocabulary they need to explain and share their feelings to you!⠀⠀⠀
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👶🏽Use stories to explain ⠀⠀⠀
Small toddlers may struggle to understand what "having a new baby" means. Use books or videos to explain what is going to happen when the baby comes!⠀⠀⠀
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🤰🏽Keep special time with toddler even after baby comes: One thing we did was make sure I had around 15 minutes a day with my tot without the baby around. This helped her feel special and let us have time not focused on baby!⠀⠀⠀
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If you are adding a new babe make sure to check out our “transitioning a new sibling” lesson in our course! Use code THANKFUL20!

Would you ever talk to a friend the way you talk t

Would you ever talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? ⠀
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Would you ever want your child talking to themselves the way you talk to yourself? ⠀
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I noticed myself getting caught in critical thoughts this week, and was reminded of the importance of self-compassion.⠀
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🌸 Would I ever tell my friend they are failing because they forgot an appointment or haven’t done laundry in a week, despite having kids they have to take care of?⠀
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➡️No, I would tell them it’s normal and we’ve all had weeks like this.⠀
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🌸Would I ever look at my friends body who just had a baby and tell them they need to loose the extra weight so they can look good again?⠀
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➡️No, I’d help her celebrate her post-baby body that grew and birthed children!⠀
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🌸Would I ever tell my friend she’s a bad mom because she burned dinner four nights in a row (true story).⠀
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➡️No, I’d tell her to maybe grab some takeout or ask for help or see this as a sign that the early days of new parenthood can be tough!⠀
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We are so hard on ourselves and expect things from ourselves that we would never expect from anyone else.⠀
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This leaves us feeling less than, like we can never meet our own standards.⠀
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When we feel like this towards ourselves we can often have a lack of compassion towards others around us as well.⠀
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Today I encourage you to notice when the word “should” comes into your mind. ⠀
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“I should have done this better.” “I should have lost the baby weight.” “I should have a baby who sleeps through the night.” “I should have given more of myself”⠀
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When you are nicer to yourself you feel better, and can be a happier more confident parent. This compassion flows from us to our kids.⠀
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“I did do my best today.” ⠀
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“I didn’t do the laundry but did spend quality time caring for my baby and today that’s ok, I can do it tomorrow.”⠀
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“I am allowed to take care of myself so I can be the best version of myself.” ⠀
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“I am worthy of love, I’m cared for, and I can ask for help.” ⠀
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When we start with giving ourselves compassion it flows through us and helps others as well.⠀
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Leave a ❤️ below if self compassion is something you will work on today!