Feeling Guilty As a Working Mom? Try Reframing Your Thoughts.
Being a mom is the best part of my life.
I love spending time with my daughter and want to know everything about her day. However, when I was home with her full-time, I started to feel drained. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself. This is why going back to work has been good for me. I am truly passionate about my job, I love being a counsellor and working with families, moms, and children to help them live their life to the fullest. I love learning about psychology, researching counseling techniques, and coming up with creative therapy ideas.
Being a mom who also works is what is best for me, and best for my family. When I am the best version of myself, my family thrives. But this does not mean that I don’t feel guilt about my decision.
Often times, I feel guilty about being a working mom.
Loving work doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments when I miss my baby and feel guilty. For instance:
Do I feel guilty when I think about someone else rocking my daughter to sleep? Yes.
Do I feel guilty when it’s a beautiful day, and I know my daughter would love to go to the park with me? Yes.
Do I feel guilty when I am on a plane to another province, while my daughter stays home with her dad? Yes.
Do I feel guilty when my daughter cries “mama” as I leave the house for work? Yes, yes, yes.
These thoughts are incredibly difficult to deal with. What I have learned though is that, instead of dwelling on my guilt and letting it consume me, it helps when I reframe my thoughts. For instance:
Someone else is forming a bond with my daughter. This will help her be trusting of others throughout her life.
My daughter still goes to the park, even if it is not with me right now. When I am home from work, we will get time to spend quality time together.
My daughter gets to have one on one time with my husband, and she is very close to her dad, which is such a beautiful thing.
When I get home from work, my daughter runs to me with a smile on her face. Our babysitter tells me about all the fun things they did together, and I am energized to spend time being fully present and attentive to my baby. From the time I get home, until bedtime.
This balance can be really tough. If you are also a working mom, who struggles with this decision from time to time, I wonder what it would look like for you to reframe your thoughts and ditch the mom guilt?
We are all in this journey together!
No matter if you are a mom who stays at home, or works from home, we ALL have our moments where we struggle. Do your best to work on taking every thought captive, and reframing your thought to find the truth. Changing your perspective can be liberating.
If there is a particular thought you struggle with, it may help to write down the truth behind that thought. That way, you can read it over and remind yourself of it whenever the guilt takes over!