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May 19

What are some things you say to help your slow to warm child? Share below!! ⬇️

As parents we want our children to have lasting and meaningful relationships with their peers, and our response when they are clinging to us being “shy” is often to say things like:

✨”Don’t be shy.”
✨”Go play with your friends.”
✨”You don’t need to sit with me.”

🚫 These things are often not helpful for our child with shy temperaments.

Infant mental health expert, Dr. Alicia Lieberman helps us see “shy” in a new light.

Instead of saying “shy,” she says “slow to warm.”

These children tend to stay closer to their parents rather than explore in social settings. Once they adjust, they may take a lot of pleasure in exploring while still keeping an eye out for changes and new things. (Lieberman, 2018).

✨Instead, what can be more helpful is to give them some extra guidance, trust, and opportunity to help them feel comfortable.

➡️ Swipe through for some simple scripts you can use to respond to your slow to warm child to help them feel safe & confident in new situations!

If you were shy as a child, what did you need to hear from your parents/caregivers? I would love to hear your experiences below!

PS - Check out my FREE Masterclass - 3 Secrets to Punishment Free Parenting to learn even more ways you can respond to your child’s big feelings and challenging behaviours in a way that builds connection and calm in your home! Link in bio!!

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May 18

Right from the start, as a society, we like to put kids in boxes.

“These babies are “good” because they sleep and eat well… These kids are the smart ones; the athletic ones, and the musical ones. These kids are pretty. These kids are bad.”

The way we label kids can impact them for a lifetime.

The way we even talk about labels can impact kids.

Growing up, I wasn’t the smart kid. I wasn’t the pretty, popular, athletic, or musical one either. Growing up in a world of labels, I often felt like I didn’t have a place or any talents. This was usually a place of insecurity and led me to be the “nice” girl. One who often struggled with people-pleasing to try and make people happy with me.

If we label kids when they are young, as they get older, they may internalize these messages and believe that they need to be perfect to gain others’ attention or affection. They may feel like they need to get excellent grades, might be afraid to make mistakes and struggle to believe in themselves.

It took a lot of relearning about myself to recognize that even though I didn’t get the best grades in grade school or high school, I can still be smart. Being “nice” and being “genuinely kind” were different. It took time to really understand that being the popular one didn’t matter at all, and I didn’t need to try and seek approval from other people. It took me time to find confidence in who I was as a person and really find my own way.

What we want to do instead is to respond to all behaviours in a way that tells our children we will always love them no matter how they behave.

I also want to say this: I know how easy it is to label kids. It can be a tricky line to help nurture those talents without putting them in a box. Remembering to focus on the process instead of the outcome helps me!

💫💫Also, if your kids sometimes hear the “instead of” comments, it’s ok. Take a breath. This post is to help us reflect on the messaging our child hears the majority of the time and for us to be aware of the 💡💡 intention behind our message! It’s ok for them to hear they are smart or pretty from time to time!

What labels do you think we need to drop for kids??? Share below! ❤️

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May 17

It’s so easy to compliment our children by saying things like:

⚡️ “Oh I love how that dress looks on you!!”
⚡️ “You look so cute today!”
⚡️ “Look at this picture, you were so adorable!”

While these statements might make our children smile (and are fine to say to kids), focusing ONLY on appearance can cause our children to feel self-conscious about their appearance and concerned about what others think of how they look.

❤️ Let’s boost their confidence about things like kindness, friendships, and honesty! We want children to know we recognize how hard they have worked to be a good friend, to tell us the truth, or to share with their sister.

🥳 Boosting their confidence in these areas means as they grow up, they will feel good about being kind, they will know the importance of being a good friend, and they will feel confident telling us the truth.

➡️ Swipe through the slides for some examples of confidence boosting statements that have nothing to do with appearance!

Think about when you were a child… what type of compliment would have meant a lot to you? Share below and we will use your responses for a part 2 of confidence boosting statements! ❤️❤️❤️

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